and
they say love is heaven’s last disguise.
that heaven changes it's clothes and course to keep us alive.
a god who strips his wings to wear different clothes,
so we can keep breathing, for one more day.
everyday we wake up in our bed, we die somewhere else.
a God for me can be a Satan for you. same reflection, different face.
one you bow to, one you deny.

and
every morning, we’ve worn too thin.
slipping under our skins, in the hours we misplace,
or the words we swallow.
perseverance to me, it's just another thing we’re told to hunger for,
until it rots beneath the surface of our need
an in-between place, a threshold you cannot inhabit,
but you must pass through.
a putrid sense of not belonging that comes from belonging.
a hollowed-out ache, the soft decay of wanting to fit.
feet nailed to the ground,
sky that tastes like seashells and detainment.
here, prudes are expected to kneel.
but before a Godly Satan or a Satanly God is yet to be decided.
before they call them saints,
they make sure the fire's been stoked.

and
what of the immoralist?
she watches the horse burn without running for the water,
without the instinct to save.
there’s no salvation in watching flames lick the earth.
but there’s something holy in doing nothing.

and
some things are like unrequited love.
they arrive too early, too violently,
then vanish before we can even name them.
but i want the universe to love back on tuesdays.

and
when the cubes of destiny we misread
don't land as red or white or green or yellow,
but just float in-between; the universe will cast a spell.
not in mercy, but in learning.
not to bestow, but to score.
to move on to broken things, begging to be made whole.

and
when dignity fails probability and when taxes don't fill stomachs,
God and Satan will mingle.
the mating will be rough, but necessary.
the only thing we will have left to do is
teach the night how to burn with its own light.
an angry, lyrical, bleak mirror to hold up
against the absurdity of spirituality and systems.

and
when the pacifiers are ripped from the mouths of God and Satan
still learning how to scream,
the universe will step forward and speak in its own tongue.
coming of age

-at last